![]() ![]() Even though this is one of my top four all-time fantasies, I can't, okay? I want to, but I gotta go find my friend. Linda the Teacher: And now you're gonna have to stay after class. You have been a bad boy! Wheeler: I've been bad. Linda the Teacher: You sit down, young man. I say "Nay, I am not embarrassed", "I will fight", "Who the fuck is Marvin Hamlisch?" Danny: He wrote the music for The Sting. I'm here to service these young boys.Īugie: Naysayers tell me "You should be embarrassed", "You should not be fighting", "You look like a young Marvin Hamlisch". Gayle: I will sign your sheets but you need to know I am not here to service your hours. I have an idea, let's get married! I don't have a ring. I can only rock from like 1-3.ĭanny: It's not you, I hate having dinner with people.ĭanny: I'm in a rut, we're in a rut. Ronnie: Of course he has a turtle.ĭanny: No, I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. Is that when he is or isn't whacking it to The Sims?Īugie: Hey, Danny, you wanna come see my turtle? Danny: I'm fine. Danny: Oh, he rules the entire realm? Oh, my bad. Ronnie: Let's dance, Ben Affleck!ĭanny: Man, why do you bow for that guy? Augie: Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm. ![]() I've never done that before, but I will punch you in the face. (Ronnie jumps on tent pole) Let me tell you something, I am not your Big, and I'll hit you. Martin: Oh-ho, I don't know if I agree with that.ĭanny: Goddamn it, Ronnie! Ronnie: What? Because I'm black you think I did it? Danny: No, 'cause you did it is why I think you did it. Gayle: Why don't you two guys go home, put down some lines of selfishness, which is your blow, close the shades, take the phone off the hook, grab a straw, and snort!ĭuane: We are gonna make s'mores with white chocolate. Gayle: Don't you come in here preaching to me about hours when you're standing over there, and you're standing over there, and I don't know which way is up! I'm-full-of-shit? Wheeler: In what way are we full of shit? Danny: Which one of us has the Ph.D? Wheeler: Well, obviously we're not supposed to buttfuck these kids. Gayle: (appropriately hugging Martin) This is a perfectly acceptable hug between a little and a big. "The Adventures of The Booby Watcher".ĭanny: Hey, pick us up in two hours. Ronnie: Sometimes I call myself "The Booby Watcher", and I have my own comic book. ![]() king? Augie: (smiling) Sure! Am I supposed to kiss you now? (Esplen giggles and they kiss] (to himself) Fuck, yeah! I was wondering if, maybe, you'd want to be my. Kuzzik: Now let us gingerly touch our tips.Įsplen: Um. Wheeler: What'd you have for dinner? Danny: Was it cocaine? You know what I used to eat for lunch? Cocaine. Gayle: You know what I used to have for breakfast? Cocaine. Ronnie: Honky wanted a fistful of my balls!ĭanny: (while urinating neon green liquid) Jeez, it's like Shrek's piss. Wheeler: You sexy like a chocolate strawberry. What have you been telling them, Ronnie? Ronnie: You got crabs. Wheeler: What the hell? I don't have crabs. Wheeler: Hey, Martin! What are you doing out here? Martin: Just doin' my perimeter check! Wheeler: Hey, did you know that dinosaurs are not extinct? Because birds are dinosaurs, and they're everywhere. Gayle: Did Wheeler ever expose himself to you? Ronnie: Hell, no! Gayle: Language, Ronnie! Ronnie: My language is English and this motherfucker tried to grab my hang-dang. Martin: I've heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous! Gayle: I got a long-standing relationship with this judge and I don't wanna get too graphic but I used to suck his dick for drugs. Wheeler: She let me keep it after I fucked her. And he got this one out of your mom's closet. Kid: Hey! Nice cow outfit, homo! Where can I pick one of those up, the gay zoo? Danny: Oh no, it's not a cow, it's a minotaur. Ronnie: Suck it, "Reindeer Games"! Danny: I'm not Ben Affleck! Ronnie: You white, then you Ben Affleck. She's smoking! Ronnie: I don't wanna take my pants off! Wheeler: (stunned) What?ĭanny: I bet if i suggested a game of Quidditch, he'd cum in his pants. Dialogue Wheeler: What up, Ronnie? It's good to meet you. You should also check this article's talk page to see if the person who added this message left an explanation there. Please review Wikiquote:Templates, especially the standard format of film articles, to determine how to edit this article to conform to a higher standard of article quality. Thompson), who needs an attitude adjustment.This film article needs cleanup. Thinking to take the easy way out, the two overgrown adolescents find themselves paired with a teenager (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), who is experiencing the pangs of first love, and a foul-mouthed fifth-grader (Bobb'e J. After salesmen Danny (Paul Rudd) and Wheeler (Seann William Scott) trash a company truck, the court gives them a choice: jail time or community service in a mentoring program. ![]()
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